Crackhead Loser

She said, "OMG, I lost the emerald bracelet that he gave me when our daughter was born. When do you think should I tell him it's lost?"

Wake up, crackhead! Tell him in late Nev-tember.

Elitist Crackhead

He said, "Yes, I went to Harvard, but it's not like I watch Masterpiece Theater or anything."

Wake up, crackhead! Nobody watches Masterpiece Theater.

Nursery Crackhead

...Four and twenty blackbirds,
Baked in a pie.
When the pie was opened,
The birds began to sing;
Wasn't that a dainty dish,
To set before the king?

Wake up, crackhead! Baked birds don't sing!

Grammy Award-Winning Crackhead

Amy Winehouse says she is doing great, and that her family should let her live her own life.

Wake up, crackhead!

Farmer Crackhead

We're looking for a new house, and we went to a showing in a rural area. I loved the house, but the horse and goat come with it, no exceptions. I don't care, I want the house.

Wake up, crackhead! I can't take care of a horse and a goat!

Crackhead Jedi

My kid was running around with a giant stick. I yelled "Hey! Stop pretending that stick is a sword!"

He looked at me like, "Wake up, crackhead! It's a lightsaber."

Crackhead, Eh?

While we were watching the closing ceremonies of the Olympics, someone said "Why does this show suck so bad?"

Wake up, crackhead. It's Canada.