Wake up, Crackbread!

At an Indian restaurant, we ordered Naan. The order was taking an unusually long time, and soon the waiter asked us whether we wanted some bread while we waited. WAKE UP, CRACKHEAD! Naan IS bread!

Celebrity Crackhead: Sandra Bullock

Oh, snap. Sandra Bullock adopted a Haitian orphan. I'm totally jealous.

Wake up, crackhead! That orphan's from New Orleans. It's not the same.

Bonus:

That baby's all "Wake up, crackhead! Put me down or I'm going to spit up all over your $2,500 hair and makeup job!"

Crackhead Loser

She said, "OMG, I lost the emerald bracelet that he gave me when our daughter was born. When do you think should I tell him it's lost?"

Wake up, crackhead! Tell him in late Nev-tember.

Elitist Crackhead

He said, "Yes, I went to Harvard, but it's not like I watch Masterpiece Theater or anything."

Wake up, crackhead! Nobody watches Masterpiece Theater.

Nursery Crackhead

...Four and twenty blackbirds,
Baked in a pie.
When the pie was opened,
The birds began to sing;
Wasn't that a dainty dish,
To set before the king?

Wake up, crackhead! Baked birds don't sing!

Grammy Award-Winning Crackhead

Amy Winehouse says she is doing great, and that her family should let her live her own life.

Wake up, crackhead!

Farmer Crackhead

We're looking for a new house, and we went to a showing in a rural area. I loved the house, but the horse and goat come with it, no exceptions. I don't care, I want the house.

Wake up, crackhead! I can't take care of a horse and a goat!